THE QUARTER LIFE INDIANA JONES CRISIS

I've got time and a half to kill because of a layover/standby that keeps getting longer and longer. So while I'm here, I figured I might as well post the one "getting effed up in Thailand" entry. I should have more really, but this was something I wrote out with the intention to post.

It begins because I saw the new Indiana Jones playing in my hotel in Chiang Mai, Thailand. The guesthouse reception man (because if I said receptionist you would've assumed lady or LADYBOY, right? right) was watching it with a small kid next to him. It was dubbed in Thai and right at the part where Indy is getting interrogated by two FBI agents about how he survived a nuclear explosion by hiding in a lead-lined fridge. GOOD QUESTION FEDS. On the one hand, jesus George Lucas, you ruined one of my childhood heroes who is a holdover hero to NOW. You let an olded up Harrison Ford run shitty lines about KGB alien quests while taking away all of the awesomeness of Marion Ravenwood as a badass movie chick character. And oh yeah, motherfucking Shia Laboeuf? Get off my lawn. I never got what the Star Wars kids freaked out about when those three new ones came out (because a) I hate space and b) consequently I hate space movies. No one can hear you scream in space, and no one can tell you that you look like an asshole in that jumpsuit. Yar.) BUT NOW I can sympathize with that gut wrenching pull the rug out from you feeling when something you love is cheapened by a plot and set of characters with looser definition than that whole situation in between Lucas' head and shoulders these days (neckchinhwhereyogo?)

I'm running off course. I had a point.

The point is that I saw Indy speaking Thai in that fuggin' movie and I was pulled again. Home and a pretty important thing from home. And although I didn't ask him to, the hotellier swtiched the language to English with Thai subtitles when he saw I was watching.

And why pulled? Because I want to be Indiana Jones.

Here is why:

I want to start travelling and stop being a tourist. I've worked on hammering this out a few times, but I can't explain it right now. I can't explain the H. Jones Jr. theory either, but I will work this out too. I had even written out a whole pseudo feminist look at WTF guys there are no cool female heros aside from Liz Lemon and Katherine Hepburn (maybe Audrey Hepburn too) but I might plug that in another time. I will let you know when I come back. I might have to leave again before I can really figure out.

Here's the thing though.

I think you want to be Indiana Jones too. Let me know.