La Derniere nuit aux Etats Unis

Well babies, here we are.

I have done more than enough emotional roller coastering and spent too many fitful nights setting up scenarios in my head while coming up with the appropriate things to say in French (it's like an elongated version of the cafe sketch every decent French teacher made you do in high school), to not be ready for this. Although I don't quite know how to say "I didn't vote for Bush" I do look forward to many conversations about him, if only to pronounce G- Dubb as "BOOSH."

Rest assured, I have at least four blazers packed, a healthy amount of argyle, and I opted NOT to throw out my classic Chucks with the holes all up in them. I know that I simply CANNOT compete with the inherent classiness that French women carry themselves with. THUS I opt NYC street urchin (cos fuck, I AM).

I have a decent memory of a bunch of youse guys' mailing addresses, so I can periodically send you all inappropriate postcards. However, if I've got secret readers who feel deep down that I care about you, post your address. And if you're super lucky, you might just get a picture of me and an Alpine sheep. EVEN LUCKIER? A picture of me surprising Russell by throwing a wheel of Brie at his head and hoping a retaliation with say, a LUGE isn't involved. Russell's been hiking, I'm sure he could hurl a luge by now.

So four months eh? Positive that I will be missing everyone plenty but I promise not to get all boo hoo Ben Gibbard on all yer asses. I know Laura's gonna try to make it out to France, so psssh, I can't go missing her too much. I will be missing Greg like it's my job, punch in, punch out. And I will be sorely missing talking shit about the kids with Courtney. I've done a decent job of having some nice farewell dinners and phone conversations, but if I missed out on a formal peace- out, it's like my boy Mike said before the feds started asking questions: "I never can say goodbye."

Better off, my boy Noelly G once said "I know I'm leaving, but I'll be back another day."

It's much better to go out Moz- Maudlin than Boo hoo Ben Gibbard.